Awake!

Isonmiac is what I have, I believe. To many things going on in my brain. I listened to a wonderful conversation at dinner today, which left me thinking. Well my friends and I are sittinge at the table at a restruant eating and my friend's boyfriend asked, "Do you think "Bob" is going to proposed to "Sally" in China." Yeah Bob is my exboyfriend who taking his new girlfriend to China...he never took me to China :(. They have been together for a year. Yes I remember how long they have been together since I was there when they met. During a wonderful trip to Hawaii with a college group. She was one of the people in our group...Sally met Bob and Bob got googly eyes for Sally and a few weeks after the trip they became a couple.
I notice even though I was I little jealous of the fact he never took me to China and we were together year and half, I didn't get that pain in my heart. I just didn't care. Which is good when don't care what your exes do or married....moving on is good. Only took me 2 years.

I just not sure how I will act if I see Bob is engaged to Sally on my facebook news feed. I am sure I will be jealous and I may feel that twinge of heartbreak but mostly jealously. Why does he have the privilege of finding someone and I don't? That is why I envy him he can date the younger college girls but guys who are more than two years apart from me are way too young our maturity level don't match. I want a man not a boy! Which this stupid town lacks.